Should a man work in the nursery?

Written by:  Theresa DeLuca

2003

What does the Bible have to say about the care of small children?

Throughout the Bible, there is very little mention of the care of small children.  The Bible does not come right out and say, “Men are not to work in the nursery at church.”  In fact, there is NO mention of a church nursery to be found anywhere in the Bible.  Having a nursery at church seems to be a relatively new concept.  So in deciding issues of the nursery, we must look at the issues of childcare in the Bible.  So, what DOES the Bible say about this topic?  Let’s take a look.

One of the first specific mentions in the Bible of the care of a small baby is in Exodus 2.

Exodus 2:2-10  “And the woman conceived, and bare a son:  and when she saw him that he was a goodly child, she hid him three months.  And when she could not longer hide him, she took for him an ark of bulrushes, and daubed it with slime and with pitch, and put the child therein; and she laid it in the flags by the river’s brink.  And his sister stood afar off, to wit what would be done to him.  And the daughter of Pharaoh came down to wash herself at the river; and her maidens walked along by the river’s side; and when she saw the ark among the flags, she sent her maid to fetch it.  And when she had opened it, she saw the child: and, behold, the babe wept.  And she had compassion on him and said, This is one of the Hebrews’ children.  Then said his sister to Pharaoh’s daughter, Shall I go and call to thee a nurse of the Hebrew women, that she may nurse the child for thee?  And Pharaoh’s daughter said to her, Go.  And the maid went and called the child’s mother.  And Pharaoh’s daughter said unto her, Take this child away, and nurse it for me, and I will give thee thy wages.  And the woman took the child, and nursed it.  And the child grew, and she brought him unto Pharaoh’s daughter, and he became her son.  And she called his name Moses: and she said, Because I drew him out of the water.

Moses was one of the great men of God.  Who was his caregiver?  It was his mother.  The Bible tells us that she hid him from the Egyptians until he was 3 months old.  Then, when she could no longer keep him hidden, she put him in a basket to try to save his life.  His sister, Miriam, (a girl) watched over him until he was found.  It was Pharoe’s daughter who found him.  She then sent him to be cared for by a Hebrew woman until he was old enough for her to keep.  All mention of the care of this baby, who was to be the deliverer of Israel, shows that his tender years were spent in the care of women.  No men are ever mentioned.

In Judges 13:2-5 we look at Samson.

Judges 13:2-5 “And there was a certain man of Zorah, of the family of the Danites, whose name was Manoah; and his wife was barren, and bare not.  And the angel of the Lord appeared unto the woman, and said unto her, Behold now, thou art barren, and bearest not: but thou shalt conceive, and bear a son.  Now therefore beware, I pray thee, and drink not wine nor strong drink, and eat not any unclean thing: For, lo, thou shalt conceive, and bear a son; and no razor shall come on his head: for the child shall be a Nazarite unto God from the womb: and he shall begin to deliver Israel out of the hand of the Philistines.”

Samson was the strongest man to ever live.  No one would dare to call him a “sissy” or a “mamma’s boy”.  He was a man that any man would look up to.  He was the picture of strength, and a real “ladies’ man”..  So who was it that took care of him as a small child?  According to the Word of God, it was his mother who was instructed on how to take care of this strong man as a small child.  The Lord sent word to his mother, not his father. 

In Ruth 4:16 we see another picture of the care of an infant. 

Ruth 4:16  “And Naomi took the child, and laid it in her bosom, and became nurse unto it.”

Ruth had a baby named Obed and it was Naomi who took care of that child.

And what about the great prophet Samuel?  Let’s look at

1 Samuel 1:21-22  “And the man Elkanah, and all his house, went up to offer unto the Lord the yearly sacrifice, and his vow.  But Hannah went not up; for she said unto her husband, I will not go up until the child be weaned, and then I will bring him, that he may appear before the Lord, and there abide forever.”

Samuel was raised by priests, right?  Well, yes, sort of.  Hannah, the mother of Samuel, gave her son to the Lord.  But when did she do it?  Not when he was an infant.  In fact, when Samuel’s father went to the temple to sacrifice to the Lord and worship him, Hannah stayed at home to take care of Samuel.  Then, when he was old enough, she took him to the priests to be raised up the rest of the way.  Hannah waited until Samuel was weaned.  When was this done in Jewish culture?  Not until the baby was several years old.8

This one is the closest example I could find of childcare and church.

One more example in the Old Testament of the care of a small child is in 2Kings 4:18-37.  I won’t quote the entire passage here, as it is very long. 

Here, we see that a Shunammite woman cared for her sick son.  She was the one who sought help from the prophet when her son died. 

We also have a New Testament example of childcare.  How is Jesus for an example of who should be taking care of a small child?  Well, let’s look at Matthew 2:11

Matthew 2:11  “And when they were come into the house, they saw the young child with Mary his mother, and fell down, and worshipped him”

When the wise men came to bring their gifts to the Lord, where did they find him?  He was at home with his mother, not his father!

There are places in the Bible that clearly show us that it is a woman’s job to care for small children.  In Proverbs 29:15  “The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.”

Here we see that a bad child is a reflection on his mother, not his father.  Why is that?  Probably because it is the mother who works at training the child up in those early years while he is setting his pattern for life.

The Bible does clearly outline some of the duties of men and women.  Proverbs 31:10-31 shows us a virtuous woman.  Again, this is a very lengthy passage, so I won’t quote the entire passage here.  We see here that the virtuous wife is taking care of her home and children so that her husband can take his seat with the elders.  The Jewish people in the Old Testament of the Bible tried to live the way that God wanted them to.  With this in mind, we should consider the fact that it was normal in the life of a Jewish mother to have the position of training all of her children (boys and girls) until they were 3 years old or until they were weaned.9  At that time, the father took over the responsibility of training the sons while the mother had the responsibility of training up the daughters.

And in church, what are the positions of men and women?

Well, we see in 1 Timothy that men are to be pastors and deacons.  They’re also to be teachers.  Women are not allowed to be teachers of men, nor in authority over men.  These are the jobs of men.  Teaching, being pastors, being deacons, taking on the positions of authority in the church where men and women are both involved.  And what of women?  We see the answer to that in Titus

Older women are to be teaching the younger women to be good wives and mothers.  Working in the nursery is a wonderful place to start.  Teaching young women who have no children how to care for small children.  Guiding young mothers in the Biblical upbringing of small children. 

In the Bible, the Lord usually speaks to men.  It was men who received instruction from the Lord.  It is Scripturally the job of a man to provide for his family and to protect his family.  But when the Lord had instructions regarding a child, then he spoke to the women, not the men.  In Titus  we see that it is the job of a woman to be at home, taking care of issues of home and children.  It is not the “traditional” role of a woman, as some people like to say.  It is the Biblical role of a woman.  The Lord made women to care for the small children. 

In our churches, we should be setting an example of the way our homes are to be run.  We should be doing things the Lord’s way, not the world’s way.  In the world, women have authority over men, women teach men, and men are babysitters, sometimes even “Mr. Moms”.  That’s not the Lord’s way.  If we want to be godly men and women, we need to be sure to follow the examples that the Lord has given us for EVERY aspect of our lives. 

So then, should men work in the nursery?

Not a chance.  They should be filling the roles that the Lord set aside for them in the church. Women need to be filling their rolls in childcare, not choosing laziness or seeking positions that belong to men!